


Sorry, wrong Hell

by BlitzDraco



Category: Doom (Video Games), Helltaker (Video Game)
Genre: SO SAD, Short One Shot, The Helltaker made a mistake, Vega steals someone else's line
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:41:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29402838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlitzDraco/pseuds/BlitzDraco
Summary: The Helltaker has ventured down to Hell. He does not meet who he was hoping to.
Kudos: 22





	Sorry, wrong Hell

As the thunder crashed overhead, rain pouring down against the roof, you woke one night with a dream.

Harem full of demon girls.

It was however not an easy dream to achieve. It could cost you your life.

“When demon girls are involved, no price is too high!” you said, as you ventured down to hell.

**\-----------**

Hell was…not what you were hoping for.

You don’t know what you were expecting honestly, given that it was…well, Hell. But the fire and brimstone covered wasteland, with the blackest void as the sky, and the screams of the damned as the wind, was not what you had in mind.

It was beyond cliched in all honesty. No creativity.

You sighed, stepping forward into the unknown beyond the gate, ready for whatever was ahead of you, for you would not be swayed in your quest.

At least, that’s what you thought.

But the further the and further across the harsh wastes that you travelled, the more it seemed that your dream was all in vain.

Not a single sultry demon, succubus, or spirit to be seen. It felt liked you got your best suit out for nothing. Can’t exactly dress to impress no one. 

Nothing but destruction littered the land, barely indistinguishable from how it itself looked. Weapons, shredded metal, and torn flesh covered the area wherever you walked, and only now was it occurring to you that this may not have been an entirely good idea.

But still, you stuck to your guns, determined to make something out of this trip. Your lust for your harem would not be denied!

Still though, this all seemed- _unusual_. Even by your own standards, and even if only for a while you’ve walked knee-deep into Hell. Not much could be weirder than that.

But in tandem with the nature of this place, or, perhaps in spite of it, there was this uneasy feeling you kept getting, despite the emptiness around you. Every empty gun cast aside, every scrap of something once living, now dead, was a reminder of this.

It all screamed it at you, and yet, stood in front of the _skull_ of what you had to guess was the biggest thing to ever live, you brazenly ignored it.

That’s when you heard it.

The powerful thumps of something approaching. The heavy footfalls of whatever had somehow survived all of this carnage. It sent a shiver down your spine.

Over the brow of the skull, you caught the silhouette of a man. He was massive, probably even bigger than you, striking an imposing figure as he stood there, looking down at you. And despite not being able to see his face, you could feel the _judgement_ being levelled at you.

He leapt off of the skull, clearing a distance no man should be able to with effort that didn’t match. He stared across at you then, his visored helmet giving no view of his face. Or his intention.

The two of you stared at one another for a moment, him making the first move, beginning to circle you, clearly studying you, as you were him.

The look of that powerful shotgun in his hands did not sit well in your gut. You knew you shouldn’t have had that last pancake before leaving.

“This is quite the conundrum. What would a living human be doing in Hell? Most unusual.”

The chipper if slightly robotic voice threw you for a loop, making this whole encounter just all the weirder.

“Hello, I am Vega, the specialised intelligence system assisting the Slayer in his mission.”

Oh, so that was his suit talking. Yeah, this guy definitely looked like a _Slayer_. 

“If you not mind, would you explain to us what exactly you are doing in Hell?”

You let the question hang for a second, unsure of how you should answer. In the end though, you decided you should give this guy a chance. He looked like your kind of guy; those bicep gains were undeniable! And hey, maybe you could help each other on your missions.

“Looking for demons.”

The Slayer’s arms flexed, as you could hear the material of his gauntlets strain, tightening against his weapon.

“Interesting. For what purpose exactly?” the intelligence asked calmly. Though you could have sworn you heard a tinge of- _hostility_ , in its voice?

“…demon harem.” you answer, getting a worse feeling with every uttered syllable.

*CAH-CHUCK*

Hmm…yeah that was clearly the wrong thing to say. 

**Author's Note:**

> This has probably been done before but, it wouldn't leave my head.  
> Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
